Healthy Boundaries Course
HOW SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES CAN HAVE A POSITIVE EFFECT ON YOUR LIFE
This ONLINE course consist of 21 modules and you will receive:
14 Audio files
366 page Planner
Free Morning Ritual Guide
Cost: R1250 (For past students of Angels Touch R950)
Once payment has been received, all the modules will be sent to you via dropbox.
Do you often feel you can’t say no? Do you feel spread too thinly between work, emotional relationships and family and your responsibilities and chores? Perhaps you feel overloaded with to-do lists, promises to friends, financial obligations or that intangible pressure to succeed in everything you do all at the same time. You may feel frustrated that there is never any time to do those things that really matter to you – whether it is to write a book, spend unpressured time with your loved ones or just be alone guilt-free.
A quick virtual trip to Dictionary.com tells us that a boundary is “a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.” If you are wondering what personal boundaries are and why you should be setting boundaries in your life, that is an excellent definition to refer to. It tells you there should be limits to the different activities and relationships which surround your personal and work lives.
When you don’t set and stick to recognizable limits, personal and work productivity can suffer.
Also, there is research which indicates when you create strict and identifiable boundaries and borders in your life, you feel better about yourself. This is because your brain can see you have specific limits and margins to govern your behavior. The human brain loves order and discipline. This makes it easier for you to stay within your boundaries, as opposed to letting people run over and manipulate you. Boundaries also give you clear marching orders as to what you should be doing, when you should be doing it, how you should be doing it, and when you should limit your exposure to others.
The problem with boundaries for a lot of people is that they feel like they are excluding people from their lives when they set these healthy limits.
Nothing could be further from the truth. The people who care about you want you to be healthy and happy. You feel the same way about them. Boundaries benefit both you and your loved ones because they lead to less stress and anxiety, and what is expected from you and others is very clearly defined and easy to understand. This improves your relationships.
In this course you will learn how to employ limits and boundaries to live a happier, more fulfilled life, we will first look at why boundaries are needed. You will learn what signs point to problem areas where limits and parameters need to be set, in both your personal and business lives. You will learn how to effectively deal with difficult people, how to be more assertive when that is the best course of action, and how to stop feeling guilty about putting yourself first.
Let’s get started making you a happier and healthier person by digging deeper into exactly what boundaries are.
Boundaries help us take care of ourselves by giving us permission to say NO to things, to not take everything on. Boundaries draw a clear line around what is ok for us and what is not. While some behaviors clearly cross the line for almost anyone, we all have different comfort levels when it comes to everything from intimacy and privacy to lateness. When someone behaves in a way that doesn’t feel ok to us – that crosses our line, we need to take care of ourselves by letting them know and making that line much clearer.
UNHEALTHY Boundaries are characterized by:
Sharing too much too soon or, at the other end of the spectrum, closing yourself off and not expressing your need and wants. Feeling responsible for others’ happiness.
Weak sense of your own identity.
You base how you feel about yourself on how others treat you.
You allow others to make decisions for you; consequently, you feel powerless and do not take responsibility for your own life.
HEALTHY Boundaries allow an individual to:
Have high self-esteem and self-respect.
Share personal information gradually, in a mutually sharing and trusting relationship.
Protect physical and emotional space from intrusion.
Have an equal partnership where responsibility and power are shared.
Be assertive. Confidently and truthfully say YES or NO and be OK when others say NO to you.
Separate your needs, thoughts, feelings, and desires from others. Recognize that your boundaries and needs are different from others.
Empower yourself to make healthy choices and take responsibility for yourself. If you are dealing with someone who is physically dangerous or threatening to you, it may not be safe to attempt to set explicit boundaries with them. If you are in this situation, it can be helpful to work with a counsellor, therapist or advocate to create a safety plan and boundary setting may be a part of this.
Setting boundaries isn’t always comfortable and people may push back if you say NO to some things or try communicating your needs more clearly. People may try to test your limits, to see how serious you are about drawing the line. Or they may be used to you responding in a certain way (agreeing to take on everything), and they may push back when you try to make some changes. That doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong. It may just mean that you need to be clear and consistent until people adjust to the new way of interacting.
Healthy boundaries are the ultimate guide to successful relationships. Without healthy boundaries, relationships do not thrive - they result in feelings of resentment, disappointment or violation. These feelings, if left unchecked, can lead to being cut off from others or enmeshment, where there is no clear division between you and others' needs and feelings. Neither of these situations is ideal.
What are boundaries?
Know your limits
Practice makes perfect
If all else fails, delete and ignore
Video: The reason people don’t hold boundaries
Audio: Areas of your life that you should have boundaries in
Different types of boundaries
What healthy boundaries look like?
Emotional boundary violations
Time boundary violations
Sexual boundary violations
Common traits of rigid, porous and healthy boundaries
Audio: Common obstacles in the way of implementing good boundaries
How to set healthy boundaries
Understand why setting healthy boundaries is important
Decide what you want
Examine existing boundaries
Keep your boundaries simple
Take it slowly
Set reasonable consequences
Stick to your boundaries and remain consistent
Focus on yourself when voicing a boundary
Boundaries may vary for different parts of your life
Recognize and respect others’ boundaries
Use common sense
How to set healthy boundaries when boundaries are repeatedly violated
Audio: Does setting boundaries make me a selfish person?
Tips for setting boundaries
Feeling guilty about setting boundaries
What to do if you feel guilty about saying no
When you set and honor your boundaries
You cannot please everyone
Audio: How to say no without feeling guilty
What are personal boundaries?
Why are personal boundaries important?
How to set personal boundaries
Identify your boundaries
Determine your values
Listen to your feelings
Learn to say no
Video: Personal boundaries explained
Boundaries and yourself
What happens when it is too much?
Boundaries and children
How to establish boundaries
What does the child learn by pushing against the boundary?
Boundaries and work
Types of boundaries to set and protect
Ways to establish and keep healthy boundaries at work
Assess your personal boundaries first
Create clear structures
Keep your relationships professional
Delegate work when appropriate
(Actually) Take time off
Use technology to help
What to say when a boundary is broken
How to handle overstepped boundaries
When you need to set realistic expectations
When asked to take on extra work
Meeting scheduled during a break
Boundaries and relationships
What are healthy boundaries in relationships?
Examples of how to set healthy boundaries in relationships
Examples of emotional boundaries to set
Refusing to take blame
Dictating your own feelings
Finding your identity outside of the relationship
Asking for space
Sticking up for yourself
Choosing to be vulnerable
Your right to privacy
Your right to your own time
The need to handle negative energy
The freedom to express Spiritual boundaries
The right to remain true to your principles
The ability to communicate physical needs
Your right to material possessions
Your ability to manage your own time
Find a calm moment
How will you set boundaries in your relationship?
Video: Recognize that boundaries change
Audio: Meditation for setting boundaries
Boundaries in marriage
Why boundaries in marriage are good for your relationship
Emotional boundaries strengthen the emotional connection in a marriage
Physical boundaries improve the quality of intimacy in a marriage
Financial boundaries are the cornerstone of a good marriage
How can we set financial boundaries in a marriage?
Boundaries in marriage help you stress less
Boundaries in marriage facilitate professional growth
Boundaries in marriage add more fun in your life
Boundaries in marriage give you the opportunity to grow together
Audio: Signs your partner is not respecting your boundaries
Teenagers and boundaries
What is an emotional boundary?
Why is boundary-setting important for your teen?
Tips that will increase your child’s happiness
Talk with your teenager about emotional boundaries
Teach teens to be responsible for their emotional reactions
Identify unacceptable actions and behaviors
What does it mean to set healthy boundaries as a teen?
Some signs that your teenager could use better boundaries
Lead by example
Respect the boundaries they set with you
Suggest boundaries when you see them getting overwhelmed
Give them some language to use
Video: Teen voices and boundaries
Setting boundaries with your ex
Why space between you and your ex is good for everyone
What poor boundaries with an ex might look like
How to set boundaries with your ex
Other people’s boundaries
When someone says no
Set boundaries according to their priorities and comfort zone
Setting boundaries online
Take ownership of your feed
Give yourself permission to unplug
Check in with yourself
Disable push notifications
Set app limits and downtime
Remember, not everything needs to be shared
Connect with others in real life
Boundaries and toxic people
What if someone doesn’t respect your boundaries?
Decide whether this boundary is negotiable
Write down what is happening
Practice loving detachment
Consider limiting contact or going no-go contact
Follow through on consequences
You have choices
Video: You deserve to be treated properly
Boundaries and neighbors
Just say no
Be proactive, not reactive
Mark physical boundaries
Communicate more frequently
Boundaries with in-laws
How to set boundaries with in-laws
Boundaries for interfering in-laws must be defined early on in the marriage
Tips for setting boundaries with in-laws
Remember, it is all about spending time together
Tune your perspective
Don’t be competitive
Don’t direct your anger at your spouse
Stick to a schedule of spending time together
Get to know them
Don’t try to control the children in front of them
Don’t take it personally
Setting boundaries with a narcissist
What boundaries should I have with someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder?
Don’t let them talk to you any way they want
Don’t let them treat you in a disrespectful or hurtful manner
Ask them not to share your personal information with others
Demand they respect your opinions and thoughts
Insist that they listen when you say no
Ask for your personal space when you need it
Make sure you are OK with the physical and sexual aspects of the relationship
Ensure that your financial relationship is equitable and acceptable
What to expect when setting boundaries with someone with a narcissistic personality disorder
Ways to set boundaries with someone with a narcissistic personality disorder
Find a therapist to help you
Decide what you are and aren’t OK with
If it doesn’t feel right or healthy, leave
You don’t have to justify, defend or explain why you need a specific boundary
Practice how to avoid or redirect negative comments and questions
Remember the power of a narcissistic personality disorder
Don’t be afraid to be firm and blunt
Don’t forget about the consequences
Don’t give anything more
Measuring the success of boundaries
Success tracking methods
Audio: What to do when someone oversteps my boundaries
How to know when to adjust your boundaries
A large part of healing involves setting boundaries
Things will happen in your life that change everything
Affirmations to help you set boundaries with love
THIS IS A COURSE FROM THE SUNSHINE ACADEMY OF METAPHYSICS - I DO HAVE PERMISSION TO USE IT FOR MY STUDENTS